The Friend That Got Away

Campfire. Marshmallows. Hot chocolate.

You are woven so intricately throughout each other’s story. You speak the same language, sensitively attuned to each other’s quirky mannerisms – a facial expression communicates the subtlest of thought, and even the slightest vocal quiver is noticed, slipping by undetected by the layman. They provide advice, support, validation, all while finishing each other’s sentences and private jokes. They know you so well they could write your autobiography and no one would know. Put simply, you are unable to fathom how life could be without each of your friends sitting around you.

Fast forward time and you see a sporadic Facebook post, a new job update on LinkedIn, the occasional tweet, and you wonder – what happened to us? How did we go from being inseparable to near strangers, so shallowly (and ironically) connected by social media?

We didn’t have a massive falling out, nor did we start to lose common interest. People shrug indifferently as they blandly say, “life happens.”

I am not too sure what “life happens” really means. All I know is that for reasons that I can’t specifically pinpoint, we’ve gone from knowing every single detail of each other’s lives to knowing almost nothing. Sometimes, I wish I knew how it happened – but all I can do is hopelessly speculate.

Maybe we grew up, separated geographically, got busy with responsibilities…

I wish it didn’t happen and I will always question why, how, and when. But I know I won’t find the answers.

What I want you to know is, your friendship fuelled me with happiness, rigour, comfort, and life. The countless times we laughed uncontrollably, the oodles of memories we cherished, the terrific pranks we played, and the hours on hours we spent on the phone talking or texting…

 You made me happy. You made me feel loved. You made me realise that I was valued, and that I was worth valuing.

So whilst I hear about you when I run into a mutual friend, see you change your profile picture on Facebook or a post about you in a school magazine – I think of you. I think of you fondly and I know you think the same.

I truly wish nothing but the best for you. I long for the day we reconnect but even if we don’t, here’s what I’ve always wanted to say: Thank you for being my friend. Even though you aren’t actively involved in my life as before,

“My friend that got away – I carry your heart in mine and I see you in me.”

 

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